Customer Service – for help with questions regarding products, order status, shipping costs, sales tax, etc.

the real Jirí Cêch™ – Celebrity who sometimes answers his email

Debra Di Blasi – President, Jaded Ibis Productions, Inc.

PAYMENTS ACCEPTED:
major credit cards and PayPal

(Secure shopping through Paypal)

Frequently Asked Questions
To save you and, more importantly, us time and limited amounts of ephemeral energy, please read the following questions and answers about Jaded Ibis Productions policies and procedures before emailing us aforesaid inane feedback.

What the hell is Jaded Ibis Productions? Ah, one of life's great enigmas! Let us summarize: We are a small obsessive-compulsive corporation headquartered in Kansas City, Missouri. We specialize in fiction, poetry, visual art, video, audio, music, and consumer products. Our offices are messy but simply humming with creativity.

How did you come up with that stupid name? We were originally Ibis Productions. An ibis, as you probably do not know, is a bird. A scarlet ibis is a red bird. "The Scarlet Ibis" is a short story by James Hurst, published in 1960. We read the story in fourth grade and experienced an epiphany regarding the difference between literature and pap (also known as "genre fiction.") Believing literary fiction to be the most exalted of the fictive forms, we set out to write and publish it. We discovered the publishing industry and 90% of America is interested not in literature but money, ergo: pap. Oh. We became jaded. You deduce the rest.

Who are your people? Our leader is Debra Di Blasi. She is GREAT, no matter what anyone else says. Jaded Ibis Productions also manages the celebrity Jiri Cech™ and the experimental metal band Umlaut with 4 dots not 2.* Jirí's and Umlaut's CDs can be found on most music sites, like iTunes, Rhapsody, Sony Music, MusicNet, and at cdbaby.com.

What is your relationship to Stephen Colbert? Absolutely nothing. We included him in our meta-tags in hopes that he would someday visit our site and invite us to be on his TV show. We find him amusing. Almost as amusing as us. But not quite. No.

Are Jirí's odors real? Of course! Hung™ and pē™ are truly sensual scents, designed by the real Jirí Cêch to honor his Bohemian childhood (before the Nazis and Soviets invaded and ruined a fine capitalist market). We use botannical oils – absolutely NO animal testing (except on humans) and NO animal products or by-products like musk, amber, urine or testicles.

Do you like us? We assume by "us" you are referring to "you," the potential customer. We do not believe in original sin. We do, however, believe people are capable and sometimes guilty of bad behavior. This is our diplomatic way of saying, "We like you, we just don't like those shitty things you do."

*Wikipedia refuses to include a reference to Ümlaut with 4 dots not 2 because (in their infinite psuedo-wisdom, we assume) they judge the band as not being serious. They are serious. Oh, yes. They are quite serious.

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