CONTACT US
With
Comments and Questions
We
welcome your feedback, however inane. Please feel free to
email us at one of the following addresses. We will try to respond
in a prompt,
polite manner (except to threatening mail, which will will promptly
and politely forward to the FBI).
Customer
Service
For help with questions regarding products,
order status, shipping costs, sales tax, etc.
Platypus Prize
For questions or comments related to the annual Platypus Prize anthology.
the
real Jirí Cêch
Celebrity
who sometimes answers his email
Debra
Di Blasi
President, Jaded Ibis
Productions, Inc.
Secure shopping
through Paypal
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Frequently Asked Questions
To save you
and, more importantly, us time and already limited amounts of ephemeral
energy, please read the
following
questions and answers about Jaded Ibis Productions policies and procedures
before emailing us aforesaid inane feedback.
What
the hell is Jaded Ibis Productions?
Ah,
one of life's great enigmas! Let us summarize: We are
a small obsessive-compulsive corporation headquartered in Seattle, Washington. We specialize in fiction, poetry, visual art, video, audio,
music, and consumer products. Our offices are messy but simplyhumming with
creativity.
How
did you come up with that stupid name?
We
were originally Ibis Productions. An ibis, as you probably do not
know, is a bird. A scarlet ibis is a red bird. "The
Scarlet Ibis" is a short story by James Hurst, published in
1960. We read the story in fourth grade and experienced an epiphany
regarding
the difference between literature and pap (also known as
"genre fiction.") Believing literary fiction to be the
most exalted of the fictive forms, we set out to write and publish
it. We discovered
the publishing industry and 90% of America is interested not in
literature but money, ergo: pap. Oh. We became jaded. You deduce
the rest.
Who
are your people?
Our
leader is Debra
Di Blasi. She is GREAT, no matter what anyone else says. Our poetry editor is the often unflappable yet sometimes flappable poet Sam Witt. Jaded
Ibis Productions also manages the celebrity Jiri
Cech™ and
the experimental metal band Umlaut
with 4 dots not 2.* Jirí's and Umlaut's CDs
can be found at CD Baby and on most music download sites, like iTunes, Rhapsody, Sony Music,
MusicNet, and others.
What
is your relationship to Stephen Colbert?
Absolutely
nothing. We included him in our meta-tags in hopes that he would
someday visit our site
and invite us to be on his TV show. We find him amusing. Almost as
amusing as us. But not quite. No.
Are
Jirí's odors real?
Of
course! Hung™ and
pē™ are truly sensual
scents, designed by the real Jirí Cêch to honor his
Bohemian childhood (before the Nazis and Soviets invaded and ruined
a fine capitalist market). We use botannical oils
– absolutely NO animal testing (except on humans)
and NO animal products or by-products like musk, amber, urine or
testicles.
Do
you like us?
We
assume by "us" you are referring to "you," the potential customer.
We do not believe in original sin. We do, however, believe people
are capable and sometimes guilty of bad behavior. This is our diplomatic
way of saying, "We like you, we just don't like those
shitty things you do."
*Wikipedia
refuses to include a reference to Ümlaut with 4 dots not 2 because
(in their infinite psuedo-wisdom, we assume) they judge the
band
as not being serious. They are serious. Oh, yes. They are quite
serious.
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